Whole Heart
by LifeInTheGrey
Summary: Kazu is a young girl born in the Soul Society, Her journey has just begun and she is completely unaware of choices she will have to make. Standing on the edge of two equally dangerous paths she must decide which one to take.
1. Touch of Death

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything besides the few original works I include. **  
Claimer:** Please don't take any original works I may add into a story.

 **Summary:** Kazu is a young girl born in the Soul Society, Her journey has just begun and she is completely unaware of choices she will have to make. Standing on the edge of two equally dangerous paths she must decide which one to take. Will she be able to live with the choices she makes?

 **WARNING** : Death, references to suicide and abuse of prescriptions, and mild language.

Suggested Age Limit: 14+

" **Whole Heart"**

 **Chapter 1: "Touch of Death"**

 **Part One**

It had been raining for ages. It just wouldn't stop. Mother was ill and father was stuck out of town. There was no way that Kimino would ever make it to a clinic to get help. I had to be the one to do it. I slipped into my pink rain boots and black raincoat. I pulled an umbrella out of the stand.

As soon as I got outside I realized the umbrella was useless. It flipped upside down before I even left to porch. I tossed it back inside. I fought against the wicked wind and the pelting rain. At one point I was knee deep in water. God, was it cold. The water only rushed pass me faster and faster as I got into town. I had to grab onto a railing to pull myself onto the lofted sidewalk of the clinic. The only clinic in town was ran by a old lady. As strange as she was, she was good at what she does.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The door swung open and an elderly lady grabbed the girl's blouse pulling her into the clinic. The woman fought with the door latching it shut. The deep brown nearly black eyes of the woman bore holes into the teenager. The young girl cleared her throat.

"My mother needs care," she said.

"Are you crazy child? No one should be out in weather like this," scolded the woman.

"But Doctor…"

"Go back home Kirina and stay there until the storm has passed. Use some of these cooling pads and some water bottles. Keep her hydrated," said the doctor.

"Didn't you just say it's too dangerous to be outside right now," huffed Kirina.

"Quit whining."

She was kooky one for sure. I scooped up the products and giving me what little money I had. Being in high school sucked. I was still expected to pay for stuff even though I didn't have much money.

Heading home was much more a challenge than I though. The water was up to my waist now in spots. Given I wasn't that tall. I had never seen the village flood like this before. The rain slapped me in the face as I tried to push through the water. The wind was whirling around me. It was impossible to see more than five meters in front, next to, or behind me. I had to grab onto the light post to pull myself to my driveway as the current was picking up. I was a good swimmer, but I wasn't going to test that theory.

I huffed and puffed as I stood on the porch trying to catch my breath. That took ages. I really needed to work-out more. I was soaked to the bone. My clothes clung to me for dear life. I pushed open the light.

The power was out. I went into the closet off the kitchen and turned on the generator. I went and pulled off one of the cooling pads and pressed the sticky side eon her forehead. I put a bottle of water on the nightstand while the rest went into the refrigerator. I put a hot pocket into the microwave for my sister. I couldn't believe how late it was. Did it really take me that long?

Kimino went upstairs to go to sleep. It was pretty boring so I couldn't blame her for trying sleep away the boredom. I changed into my most comfortable pajamas. Which happened to be Hello Kitty. My dad got them for me a few months ago. I swear he thinks I'm still five. But he did at least try. She hoped he was okay. He was probably stuck in some city. Trains and water don't' mixt too well.

I blanked for a few minutes in the bathroom. I shook it off. I stumbled a bit down the stairs. I nearly tripped. That wouldn't have felt too good for sure. Twenty four steps, I counted them myself. Ouch. Even thinking about falling down them was painful. I flopped onto the couch pulling a blanket off the top of it. I was so tired. I gave into the darkness.

Dawn came and the storm faded. Mother and Kimino awoke to a strong sweet smell. My sister went around looking for candy thinking I picked some up last night. Mother knew differently. There was a bitterns to the sweetness. She couldn't quite place it. She searched around the house looking for a dead animal, but found none. She saw me sleeping on the couch and just shrugged off the smell for a while. It got worse and worse throughout the day, but it wasn't strange for her me to sleep really late when there wasn't school. I starred at myself sleeping. What the hell! I went around trying to get mom's attention or Kimiko's attention, but she engaged by her I-pad.

It wasn't until midnight when father returned did mother start to panic as she could not wake me up. I was hovering there screaming at her that I wasn't going to wake up and top stop shaking me. My father thought nothing of mother shaking me like a ragdoll. Then once she started screaming at me he got up from the table putting the soggy newspaper on the table. He leaned over putting two fingers on my neck. The color drained from his face and it fell. His knees gave out. A bang in my chest grew. I was dead, wasn't I? Tears welled up my eyes but I forced them away.

"What? What's the matter!" screeched mother her eyes as huge as saucers.

"She's dead."

"That's not funny!"

"I'm being serious. She doesn't have a pulse."

"Then what are doing talking about it! Do CPR or something!"

"I can't raise the dead!"

* * *

They said I died from hypothermia. That my heart just simply gave out. How could I possible die from that when I got out of my wet clothes and I was under a blanket? It just doesn't add up. I couldn't stand just moping around watching my family grieve me. I thought kids could see spirits, but my little sister couldn't. Maybe she was just too distressed. The worse part of dying is watching my families and friend. And that dumb dope why the hell did he wait until I was dead to ask me out! I hated watching everyone cry over me. I'm one person, there are millions of others I'm sure my friends will find another replacement one day. I knew my parents can't exactly replace one of their children, but I knew they'd be okay.

Why wasn't I passing over? Isn't that what is supposed to happen? It had been nearly six months and I was still floating around. I found out one thing is that parents don't ever return to the way they were after losing a child. Being a professor meant nothing to my father anymore and he went to teach high school, my high school on top of that. There was no life in my mother's eyes. I wanted to lecture for being so freaking selfish. Kimino cried for weeks on end, but now there was some light back into her eyes and she was doing better in school than ever and she finally let those bitches bully her around. I couldn't be prouder. But I still worry about her she shouldn't have to feel like she had to put in so much effort into her academics because I did or that she has to fill my shoes. Sometimes I felt like maybe she could sense me around. She'd look straight at me, but I could tell she wasn't seeing me. If anyone had any idea I was still around it was my father. He'd still leave food in my room for me and sit in my room talking to me. I never really saw it coming. That day when my dad was working and my sister was at school. The day my mother packed up her stuff and leaving the briefest note I've ever seen: 'I can't do this. I'm sorry'. That was the first time I ever saw my father cry. He didn't just lose me, but now my mother. I hated her. I truly hated her for what she had done to our family.

I expected divorce papers not a police officer to arrive. It was that time of year where they clean out of the forests. My mother had committed suicide. How could she? How could see do this to them? She better not come around this house. I'll. I'll. I'll. I huffed in defeat. I couldn't do anything. I was dead.

Why did I still have to feel emotion? I curled up and sobbed for weeks and weeks. Shortly after the news my father went and got a puppy. It tiny tan flat nosed pug. It was so adorable. Kimono didn't give much attention to the puppy. She was hurting. I didn't blame her. The puppy became my father's shadow. A very clumsy shadow. The puppy ran into walls all the time unable to stop running chasing his toys. He chewed up anything he could get off the table: napkins, newspapers, books, homework, if it was close to the edge of the table it was his. Funny thing was the dog could see me. He'd bark at me and chase me around the house. I started to learn how to levitate the dog toy and throw it.

One day I got too carless. Man. Even in the afterlife I screwed up a lot.

"Good boy!"

The dog came barreling back wagging its curlicue tail. Damn was it cute. It was a little bigger now, but still freaking adorable.

I levitated the toy from where the dog dropped it at my feet and I launched it across the room. Suddenly the door swung open and bashed someone in the head. My eyes turned to saucers as I saw my best friend, Mamoru. He was with my father.

"That's quite odd," said my father tossing the toy.

"Yeah," said Mamoru as his voice cracked slightly. His eyes were starring right at me. Could he see me?

Apparently my father was trying to help him get caught up in science. He must have fell behind after I died. I suddenly felt awful for dying. Why did so many people have to care about me?

"Mr. Sakata do you believe in spirits?" asked Mamoru as I sat on the couch levitating the remote flipping through the TV channels until I found a new show.

"It goes against my scientific background, but I do like to think so. I hate to think I'll never see them again," sighed my father mournfully. I turned my head and sighed. I couldn't exactly tell him I was here. I've been trying for six months. The dog jumped into my non-existent lap. I could still feel its warm soft fur. Strange. I never used to be able to feel anything.

"I still feel like Kirina is still around. I still leave a plate of cookies for every time we make them. I swear sometimes someone has eaten them. I know it's not Kimiko. She won't go into that room since Kirina died. Maybe it's the dog," my father chuckled.

This wasn't like him to share anything personal like that. But I guess everyone needed someone to talk to. I did wonder who was eating the cookies, because I never did. An alarm bell was going off in my head, but I didn't know why.

"I know I'm going to sound crazy, but Kirina is right there. She turned the TV on," said Kimiko.

I blew a raspberry at him. "Why'd you have to go and ruin my fun? Now he's going to be talking to me all the freaking time?"

My father turned around to see the TV turned on. He scratched his head. I got up off the couch, much to the dog's dismay, and floated over to the table.

"Now look you broke him."

Mamoru glared at me. I flipped him off.

"Is she saying something?" my father asked.

"She's being obnoxious," huffed Mamoru.

"Am not!"

"What is she saying?"

"First she told me I ruined her fun and that you were going to talk to her all the time now. Then she said that I broke you. And now she's bickering with me."

"If you pulling my leg kid I swear….."

"I'm not!"

"I think you should leave."

Mamoru started to get up to leave. Stupid idiot. I kicked his chair out from underneath him making him fall on his ass. Maybe that would knock some sense into him. I didn't just move the chair a few feet, but across the room.

"How'd you do that?"

"I didn't. She did."

"I don't allow witchcraft into my room. Please leave before I forcible remove you."

"I overzealous stupid idiot! I'm the one doing it! Dumbass! I've been trying to tell you months that am here and now that I have the chance to do it I'm not going to let you ruin it. I would love to pass on into the afterlife! Whatever it is!"

My father shifted in his seat. I knew he couldn't hear me. But maybe he could still feel me. Just maybe.

"Go away bad spirit!" he shouted. So much for scientific reasoning.

"I'm not bad spirit idiot!"

The lights began to flicker in the house. The chandler was swinging slightly. The lights kept flashing like a lighting storm. Both of them looked around the room. If I could see myself I probably looked like a banshee. With crazy wild hair, glowing eyes and a look that could kill.

"Knock it off Kirina! You're going to attack real bad spirits! Or blow up the house!" shouted Mamoru, but his voice sounded so distant.

I couldn't stop. Not even if I wanted too. Everything was coming out at once. All the anger, guilt, sadness and loneliness came out at once. All the pain of watching the people I love suffer was too much. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Kirina-chun stop. Please," said my father as he ducked under the table as bolts of electricity were bouncing off the walls.

"I can't!"

The dog started barking and growling. But it wasn't at me. I knew that. I felt a sudden dread fall upon me. Then I fell to my knees. I couldn't breathe. The life was being sucked right out of the air.

"I don't think she's doing it! I think it's someone else!" said Mamoru scuttling under the table as well.

"I'd like to think she isn't trying to kill us," said my father.

"Whatever it is, its affect her too," agreed Mamoru "she totally kicked my chair, but I don't think she was actually angry enough to do all of this."

"She was angry?"

"Yeah. She's been trying to tell you that she was here for six months now. She just wants to move on."

"Under different circumstances I'd apologies, but right now I think we might be killed."

Hell no. No one was going to kill them. The only one who messed around with them was me. No other spirit had that right. I could feel something pulsing through me. I forced my legs up.

"Stop! Show yourself! Only a coward attacks living beings!" I shouted.

"Kirina I know your dead and all and death doesn't scare you. But sure does scare the crap out me," said Mamoru trying to reason with me.

"Shut up! I didn't ask for your opinion. You aren't going to die today," I growled.

"What did she say?"

"I thought she was angry before….I don't know what this is then."

My father chuckled "I used to call it Kirina's inner demon."

Then she appeared. Her skin was a murky grey. Her eyes had an amber glow. Her nails were more like claws then human nails. She had a nasty gleaming grin. But without a doubt. She was my mother. Or at least it was my mother.

"My dear you must know your no match for me. Just move out of my way so I can have my meal," hissed my mother.

"Like hell I will!"

"Great," grumbled Mamoru.

"What?"

"Apparently your wife turned into a banshee-like thing that wants to eat us."

"No wonder my mother called her a she-devil."

"Will you two shut up?" I growled.

"Kirina wants us to shut up."

A bolt of electricity came rushing at me. I didn't twitch or even dodge. I will not back down. I don't care if this is my mother's spirit or not. There is no way she's going to hurt them. I don't care what I have to do.

The bolt ricocheted inches from my face. As if it had hit a trampoline or something. What just happened? I probably don't want to know. How was I going to beat her? I didn't know how to control electricity. Wait I've been a spirit for six months and I can't control electricity yet and my mother died two months, which means this can't be her. It was a pretty big assumption since I've never seen another ghost before.

The next bolt came racing towards me. I had to try. Even if I die doing it. Wait, how could I die if am already dead. Whatever, am going for it! I starred at the bolt. No blinking. No blinking. God, I'm probably going cross-eyed. I took a deep breath. I want this bolt to hit her. This bolt is going to hit her. I can defeat her. I have to defeat her. This bolt will injury her.

Slowly the bolt stared the sway back and forth between us. I may not be able to conjure up my own bolts, but I could use hers against her. This bolt is mine! For a few seconds it came racing towards me and I thought it was over. Then suddenly it curved away from me and went straight back at the she-devil. She screeched in horror.

"You will pay for that!"

"We'll see about that."

I looked over at the couch. If I could distract her. Maybe I can find a way to attack her. She opened my right palm and then closed my fist as if I was grabbing the couch with my hands. I jarred my arm towards her then opened my fist at it let out. A second later the couch floated into the air then it whirled around hurling through the air at the lady monster. Next thing I know I'm behind her and I swung my leg around for a nice roundhouse kick. It actually connected with something. I expected my leg to go right through her. She flies into the kitchen wall cracking a section of the kitchen counters and ripping a few doors off the cabinets. Right as the she-devil growled the front door flew open.

"What the hell is going on in here?" shouted Kimono. Those words didn't sound right coming out of the mouth of an eleven- year-old.

"Oh goodie there are two of them now," groaned Kimono. A bolt barely missed her head as she ducked instinctively.

"Leave them alone!"

The she-devil only grinned. A sadistic gleam glimmered in her eyes. This only meant trouble. A blink of an eye. That's all took for me to take a bolt to the chest as a jumped in front of Kimino. Not today bitch.

It hurt. God did it hurt. If it was possible to die again I was really wishing I would just die. It's like the life was being sucked out of me. I froze in the spot as my mind was sucked back into the night of my death.

 _I was changing in the bathroom into a Hello Kitty pink shirt and matching pants. My father still seemed to think it was five-years-old. I did my typically things. Brushing my unruly hair braiding it so it didn't get all tangled when I went to sleep. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Instead of leaving I stood there starring in the mirror. There was a girl standing behind me. She had an oval face with soft green eyes and huge smile as if she was welcoming home. The girl's face melted into the she-devil's face. She came out of the mirror and whispered into my ear. I couldn't make out what she was saying. My eyes suddenly went cold, as if I was dead. I popped open the medicine cabinet. I dumped a few different pills from different bottles into my head and put them into my mouth. I took a sip of water and zombie walked to the couch._

Wait. This thing killed me. Didn't it? It had possessed me or something. It wasn't hypothermia. I knew it. I overdosed. Actually I think I like the whole idea of hypothermia better now. My heart just stopped from a reaction to a combination of the drugs. Oh my god. This thing probably killed my mom the same way. I hated it for existing. I wanted it dead. Well, no longer exist.

"You are taking in lives today!"

Then everything was engulfed a pure white light. The living people couldn't see it. But she she-devil and I looked up. She shrieked in fear trying to run away from the rays. But she was caught and disintegrated into thin air. My family and friend could see that of course.

"What just happened?" asked Mamoru.

"I don't know," said Kimiko helping her father and Mamoru out from under the table.

"What are you starring at?" asked my father. His eyes went wide as he realized he see me now.

The dog came up and sniffed my leg before weaving between them. My eyes were fixed upwards. The light felt so warm. It was so bright. It felt like home.

"Light," I replied.

"Must be what happens after we die," shrugged Mamoru.

"Before I go. I want you guys to know there is no one to blame for my death other than myself. I wasn't strong enough to resist temptation. Neither was mother. That thing cause both of our deaths. It clung to people who were sensitive to spirits and energy. It wasn't hypothermia. I had a reaction to a medication or well medications. I remember it now. That thing could possess people. It doesn't matter now. I loved all of you. I was happy. I complained a lot, but I was still happy," I admitted. They deserved the truth.

"Dad don't lose who you are. Kimiko needs you, all those students need you. I'll always love you and I know we'll meet again. I'm sure whatever happens I'll mother again too. I'm not afraid. I've never been afraid. I did like you talking to me. It is very lonely when no one can see you. And I didn't eat the cookies. I can't pick them up let alone eat them. Oh yeah sorry about the mess I'm not too good at this whole being a ghost stuff," I said.

"Things are replaceable, people are not," said my father.

"If you want to make us happy live for the people you have not the ones you've lost," I said.

"I was the one eating the cookies. I couldn't stand smelling them. They were just going to rot," blurted Kimino.

I laughed giving her the biggest smile I could. If only they knew nearly all the cookies 'I ate' I really gave to her…I felt a slight ping in my chest. I wasn't going to be here for her next birthday, or help her study for high school entrance exam, or to chase away her first boyfriend or girlfriend, or be her bridesmaid when she finally finds an significate other that lives up to my expectations. It wasn't fair. Why did she have to lose both mother and I?

"Kimino don't rush growing up. You have plenty of time to worry about academics. Go have fun and try new things. Live is way too short to spent life buried in academics. There is something to learn from books, but there is way more lessons in life. Live for now not the future or the past. You have a whole lifetime to worry about the future and the past is over with. You can't change the past. But you can change the present and that will change the future," I said.

"I don't want you leave!" Kimino cried.

"I have to. I can't stay here. Don't get me wrong I love it here, but I think I'm needed somewhere else now. Don't worry about me. I'll see you again," I replied softly.

"What am I supposed to do?" she said holding back a flood of tears.

"Live. If you want to make me happy just live your life. That's what I've been telling you. Didn't you hear the whole speech I gave? Never mind, live for yourself not for me. Actually if you want to live for me live for yourself," I said "or swear when you die after a long, happy life I will kick your ass."

Kimino giggled wiping away tears. I know she'll be okay. She's strong. She still has a purpose to fulfill. I know that much. If she didn't, she would have died. I knew now. I was here on this Earth to touch people and give them the strength they would need for their lives and to be here to destroy that thing from killing more people. Though I don't think I did it directly.

"Mamoru, why is it you always wait too long? You stupid idoit. You should have just told me rather than terrorize my boyfriends. It doesn't matter now. Seriously stop moping around. That isn't going to bring me back. Go out there and continue your life. Go after what you want in live and don't waste time. When we meet again I want to hear all about what you have done. So you better do something with your life so I don't fall asleep," I said.

I had never seen love in the eyes of a guy, besides my father. There was always that deep slightly disturbing lust. But lust isn't love. That lost puppy look in his eyes. He had lost more than his best friend, but his first love. I felt bad for him really. But I knew he could find someone. He deserved someone better than I'd ever be. He was there to protect me when I stood up to the wrong crowd, or was freaking out over an exam, or bitching about other girls. He really was everything a girl needed. I was a fool for not seeing it. Whoever, caught him was hitting the motherlode. I smiled at hm.

"Stop selling yourself short. You have no idea how important you were to me or how much you did for me. You'll find someone someday. And they'll have no idea what they caught," said with a smile.

"I love you guys, but it's time for me to go. Kimiko take care of the puppy. He deserves some attention. He's really a sweet dog," I said leaning down petting the dog. He wigged his tail and tried to lick me "goodbye puppy. I'll sure miss you."

I looked up into the light. I could leave now. I wasn't afraid now. I had gotten the chance to say my goodbyes. I knew how I died and I wasn't ashamed. I screwed up. I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. I was not helping anyone, including myself, by staying here. I needed to move on so they could. I heard the puppy whining as the light engulfed me. I saw Kimiko pick it up as I floated up into the light.

They would be okay. And so would I. What happens now? What is waiting on the other side? Was reincarnation a thing? That would pretty cool. I closed my eyes feeling the warm light surrounding me.

* * *

 **Part Two**

I squinted trying to make out where I was. I couldn't see much. Besides that it was dark. I could hear wind whistling outside. A tiny dust of snow blew in from under the door. Soft gentle whispers with a tinge of fear. I blinked a few times. Where was I? Who was talking? What happened?

After a few days I realized I had been reborn. I was now in the body of a tiny frail infant. Worst of all I had been born a boy. How do I even act like a boy? The first thing I learned if you want something cry, not just whimper scream your head off. It sure does get attention quickly. It sometimes took hours for someone to finally pick me up. I never saw a woman that could have been my mother.

I grew so fast. Time passed by so quickly when you are small. Especially when you're strapped to people's backs and taking out into fields. The air was crisp and full of life. I'd never felt air any more pure than this. I never cried out in the fields. I watched the birds, passing people and animals. It was a pleasant first couple of years. I learned that I lived in a mountainous village in Japan. At least I didn't have to figure out a new language.

Nothing was perfect though. I soon found out that my father hated me. I don't mean it like a whiny kid way. He really did hate me for existing. He blamed me for my mother's death. Which I suppose was sort of true. She did die giving birth to me, but it's not like I actively killed her. He didn't speak to me. He didn't even look at me. I was nothing to him. It actually hurt. Everyone else got attention. It wasn't fair. Life was never fair.

I was five-years-old. I was expected to take our produce up the mountainside to the market. We had a pull trolley we had to use to get up to the market. I had been traveling on my own since I was four. So I didn't mind it at all. I loved getting away actually. It was just another typical trip. Well, so I thought. I was pulling myself along when I heard a creaking sound. A low deep grinding sound. Then tiny little pings up ahead. I kept on pulling. Then suddenly the rope got very lose under my small fingers. The last thing I knew I was falling in a wooden cage of death.

That's how I died a second time. This time I didn't wonder around for months alone. A strange man appeared a few days later and hit me in the forehead with the hilt of his sword without a single word.

I woke up in a very dark place. Once again. Inside of a house it was forest. I couldn't see my own hands. I stumbled around trying to find a path, something. I walked and walked and walked. There was no end to the forest. I would have been better off staying in the forest. I walked right out into a middle of battlefront. Arrows of light shoot all around me. I ducked down crawling around the ground to get free. Then I was engulfed in flames. It came out of nowhere. I just couldn't catch a break.

* * *

I was born a boy again. People were everywhere. They were on top of each other. When I breathed in the city air made my lugs scream for air. It was so rough on an infant's body.

Every day a horrible stench filled the air. Bodies lined the streets. They were barely recognizable as human. They were rotting corpses more like skeleton with skin on them. Death was everywhere.

I was five-years-old when they died. I was alone. To survive I had to make up my guide of survival. I learned from trial and error. Rule One, don't drink water from a pump you aren't familiar. Rule Two, trust no one. Rule Three, food first law second. Rule Four, don't die. Rule Five, keep your head down. As long I fallow them I will survive.

For years those five rules kept me alive. I stole what I needed to stay alive. Nothing more and nothing less. I never accepted help as they were always expectations for return. At least in this city. By never looking at someone in the eye it kept me from noticing the looks of pity or disgust I'knew' they gave me when they walked by.

The one rule I had a hard time with was Rule Four. That should be the simplest right? It could have been. I should have made ten rules: rule six avoid dark alleys, rule seven avoid men in dark alleys, rule eight never let your guard down, rule nine trust your gut, and rule ten if something feels like bad idea don't do it.

It was quick death this time. But more painful. I did not die quickly. I slowly bled out in that alley. But that's isn't what killed me. I was giant hamster thing with a mask. It stepped on me and crushed me. In those last moment it all came rushing back. Three live times of memories all at once. I'm not sure why. Inside of hovering around where I died I was thrown back to Japan. It was the strangest thing. Then I was running from the damn hamster thing. I would have surely been eaten by it, but some guy with a sword saved me. He tried to hit me on the head with the hilt of his sword again. So I ran. And ran. And ran. Until I couldn't run anymore. It seemed to suck out whatever energy spirits have.

"Look kid I'm trying to help you," the guy said. Before I could ask questions or protest that stupid sword hit my forehead.

* * *

For what seems like years I've been floating around in nothingness. I could hear voices sometimes. Some excited, others nervous, a few calm and many that were worried. I guessed I was being reborn again. One thing I did notice is that sometimes the nothingness I was floating in would make me hurt. Like something was very wrong in here. It wasn't a comforting feeling. It felt as if the world around me was dying.

I spent so much time there in darkness. All I had was my thoughts. I keep analyzing my past lives and how I keep screwing up. This time it wouldn't happen. I decided I didn't want to lose all my memories this time. I carved into the center of my core a new me. A me that wasn't going to die as a kid again. I would survive this time. I wanted to live a full life. I wanted to fall in love, have my heart broken, finally love again, create a new life, make real friends that would last a lifetime, try strange foods, climb mountains and most of all be happy. I remember a few core elements of each part of my three recantations. Family and love from Kirina, independence and inner strength from my second recantation, will-power and intelligence from the last reincarnation. I couldn't remember the names from the last two reincarnations. Either I never heard it or they never had names. That was a sad thought.

Once again light began to pierce my warm, dark place. I was forced out of my home. It was never fun coming out. Once you came out it had been downhill for me the last two times. Please let be third time be the charm or is the fourth time be the charm including the first one.

My lungs filled with air. The air here was so rich. Full of energy. The air rushed out and in. But I didn't hear that unmistakable newborn cry. I looked around. Where was I? A woman scooped me up shaking my belly slightly so I would cry. I glowered at her. Damn, woman stop shaking me. A tiny spark went up above my head. I looked up. What was that?

"Why isn't she crying?" said an urgent young male voice.

"Doesn't feel like it I suppose. She's perfectly fine," smiled the woman as she wrapped me in a blue blanket. I whimpered a little bit. She didn't need to wrap me so tightly.

I found myself in the arms of a new person. A young man. Not too old. He had white hair. Maybe was old? He had calm, but sad smile. A yawned looking up. It was always so tiring.

"I'm very sorry about your mother," said the woman.

"There was nothing to be done. She asked for the baby's life to be saved over her own. It's a miracle the child even exists. It's not like either of my parents were in good health. For hundreds of years they tried to have that second daughter they wanted," he said.

"I'd just trying to find a wet nurse. She's very small and will need something more nutrient filled than just goat or cow milk. At least for a few months," said the woman.

"Thank you," he said.

The woman disappeared. I yawned again. I starred up at his face with tired eyes. So warm. I could fall asleep just like this.

"I guess it's just you and me little one. What should I call you?" he said "how about Kazu?"

I just peered up with slowly closing eyes. I just wanted to sleep. Any time would do. I guessed from my name I was a girl this time. Finally. I really hadn't had good luck as a boy.

"Ukitake, Kazu welcome to the Soul Society."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for reading. This chapter was a thrill to write. I know a banshee isn't a being in Japanese lore. Take it as a demon or a banshee, whatever you want to call it. Or as Kirina called it 'she-devil'. I decided after writing 'chapter two' that it was too short and I merged it so it was one chapter. There won't usually be chapters set ups this way. I hope you enjoyed this chapter I much as I enjoyed writing it.

*10/24 I fixed a few word choice errors in the last section and I forgot that there were eight children in that family so I reworded a sentence so it fit.


	2. Foundation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything besides the few original works I include. **  
Claimer:** Please don't take any original works I may add into a story.

 **WARNING** : Mild swearing, minor suggestive scenes.

 _Suggested Age:_ 14, mature 13

 _ **AN:**_ POV change is on purpose.

" **Whole Heart"**

 **Chapter 2: "Foundation"**

A fairly young man looked out the window of his office. He could see his squad members walking around a chatting with each other. A smile grew across his face. He turned his attention towards the piles of paperwork he had left. He returned his gaze back out of his office. There were people dogging and running into each other now. He saw a flicker of pale blonde hair. He grinned to himself. Then a small child appeared aWh few meters above several of squad members. She stuck out her tongue at them and darted pass them weaving in and out of the crowd.

"Shirō! Shirō!" called a squeaky little voice quite some distance away.

"Shirō! Oh Shirō!" the voice called again.

The man smiled to himself, but didn't make a sound. He cocked an eye towards the door. He counted the seconds.

"Nii-chan! Nii-chan! I know you're in there!" called the voice underneath the door.

"No, I'm not," he said holding back a chuckle.

"Yes, you are! You just spoke to me!" giggled the voice.

The door rattled slightly. A frustrated whimper squeaked out. He got up out of his chair and pulled on the door. It got stuck, once again, and he had to rattle it a bit before it opened. As soon as the door slid open he was knocked to the ground by a mass of blond hair.

"Oh my. Who is this excited ball of energy," he said.

"Nii-chan!" squealed a small girl.

"As happy as I am to see you, Kazu-chun I need you to get off me," he said with a soft smile.

"Sorry nii-chan," said Kazu getting up of her brother's chest with a not so innocent smile.

"Taichou! Taichou!" called an out of breath man with reddish brown hair standing in the doorway "I'm sorry. She's too fast. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it, Fukutaichou Tadao. If she really wanted to see me isn't a guard in the Seireitei that could stop her. If she wants to visit she is always welcome to," he said patting the girl's head.

"You look silly on the floor nii-chan," giggled Kazu.

"Tadao please put some tea on and see if we have any rice balls," said Jūshirō.

"Did you get to fight any mean hallows today?" asked Kazu.

"Not today, sweetie," he smiled.

"Too bad. I like hearing about hallows," she pouted.

"What do you do today Kazu-chun?" he asked.

"Nee-san Minako came over and made me work on my calligraphy. I don't like calligraphy," she grumbled.

"It's important. One day you'll impress someone with your excellent penmanship," he reminded.

"I guess," she huffed.

"What else did you do?"

"And nii-san Akira taught me some kido and nii-san Kanaye was helping me with sword training," she continued.

"Do I still have a house?" he asked rubbing his temples.

"Of course, silly. We wouldn't train inside," she giggled.

"That's good," he said.

"Then once I was all done I went and cased the fish in the pond. But I couldn't catch them? Then I came here when I got bored with the fish."

"Did you tell anyone you were leaving?" he question.

"No one was there," she shrugged.

"Here is your tea," said a young woman in a green kimono with a blue floral design. Either she was an off-duty Shinigami noblewoman or she wasn't Shinigami at all either a servant or lower noblewoman.

"Thank you, Tao," he said.

The girl put the tea on the small table in the room where Jūshirō and Kazu were seating. She never looked at either of them.

"The onigiri should be done shortly Ukitake-dono," bowed Tao before leaving the room.

"Why is she dressed in a kimono?" asked Kazu.

"She's one of the servants in the Gotei 13," explained Jūshirō.

"Why do they need servants here anyways?" asked Kazu pouring the tea into her cup.

"There are many nobles who are shinigami, so they have to have them," sighed Jūshirō.

"That's dumb," huffed Kazu.

"That is not the wording I would use, but I don't think it's right either. Many of the servants come from very poor areas of the Rukongai," said Jūshirō.

"Why do you use one in your squad then?" Kazu asked.

"Tradition. It's best not to rock the boat too much. And with my illness sometimes it is best to have someone who can care for me," countered Jūshirō.

"So you rather just let them continue to take women and girls away from their homes and families," retorted Kazu.

"Sometimes a life as a servant is better than anything they'd have out there," said Jūshirō.

Kazu began to form another retort when her brother gave that stern 'enough, just drop it' looks. She inwardly sighed.

 _Curiosity and justice are a good thing in moderation._

She rubbed her temples. She wasn't too fond of the voice that appeared in her head time to time. It always gave her awful unwanted advice.

"When do you plan on coming home to visit?" she asked breaking the heavy silence.

"Next weekend," Jūshirō told her.

"Here is the onigiri," announced Tao as she returned with another plate.

The temptation to ask Tao questions was almost too much to resist for the young girl. So she stuffed the rice into her mouth so she couldn't talk. That may not be enough to prevent her when she left later.

"What are you reading right now?" inquired Jūshirō.

"I've been reading Genji Monogatari and Makura-no-soshi," replied Kazu.

"What do you think of them?" added Jūshirō.

"I guess they're okay," shrugged Kazu.

"If you want to become an shinigami you're going to have to study things you don't like and act like you enjoy them…" started Jūshirō.

"Yeah, yeah. And I have to always respond like a perfect little robot that has no emotion or feelings. To do as I'm told and never think about what I'm doing. Blah, blah, blah," snarled Kazu as she got up.

"Now, Kazu…" said Jūshirō trying not to show the surprise in his eyes.

"I'm tired of 'now, Kazu' this or that. I don't care how I'm supposed to think, feel or act. I'm not a robot and I will never be like you guys," she sat turning towards the door.

"Kazu…." said Jūshirō.

"I'm going home now," Kazu said stoically as possible.

Before Jūshirō could get up to stop her Kazu disappeared into the dimming light of dusk. He rubbed his head as a terrible headache was setting in. Preadolescence girls were so very difficult. How did his parents do this? Let alone want to do a second time.

((Line Break))

The middle of the Seireitei was not the place to break down crying. But that didn't matter to Kazu. She curled up into a ball under a tree. She wrapped her arms around head smothering her upper arms against her ears. Oh what had she done. She never meant to talk to nii-chun like that. How could she be so cruel? What if he got sick?

Snap! Her head snapped up. Her heart pounded up into her throat. Her hand went to grab a sword or knife strapped her side, but there wasn't any there. Her eyes wide open peering around nervously. A terrible sense of emending boom sunk her stomach.

Someone nearby was very powerful. She had been around high spiritual pressure her entire life. But this was different. It was dark and sinister. It sent a shiver down her spine. Her body froze there for a few minutes. SNAP! Her reflexes jolted to attention and she ran away from the tree. She was not alone. It was dark now.

As soon as she stopped to catch her breath she could feel the hairs on her neck and arms standing straight up. She was being fallowed. Her entire body was shaking. She leapt to the right just at the perfect time as a sword gut into the wall she was leaning on. She leapt into the air onto the roof. She gasped for hair nearly falling to her knees. That took so much energy to do. She knew she was in trouble.

CLING! Metal hit the roof the building. She jumped sliding down the side of the roof nearly falling flat on her face. She began to run away from that building. Every time she turned she could sense someone there. Her mind and body were going into overdrive. She couldn't think. She turned around in circles her head pounding. Before she could even process what was going on she had a tip of a sword at her throat.

She starred wide eyed at a young boy with brown hair, not much older that herself. Why was he attacking her? She gasped for air once she started to rapidly feel lightheaded. She forgot to breathe.

"Who-who are you?" she asked.

"What does it matter," he taunted.

"You always tell your opponent your name," she said.

The boy said nothing. Something was boiling inside. It felt like all the anger and frustration inside was coming back up.

"I don't know who you are, but you better unhand me," she warned.

He laughed. He was laughing at her. Her blood boiled. No one laughed at her.

"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south! Hadō 31 Shakkaho!"

A good sized ball of red energy formed in her hands before shooting off towards the boy. Her eyes narrowing. She stumbled backwards as the ball of energy shot off hitting boy's shoulder knocking the sword out of his hand. He yelped in pain before quickly charging at her again. She planted her feet firmly into the ground.

She held out her hand pressing her index to his forehead. He stood there perplex for a minute. "Sho!" The boy shot backwards several meters.

"You're cheating!" he snapped.

"And you're not by attacking an unarmed girl," said Kazu rolling her eyes.

"You're not a shinigami," said the boy pausing for a minute.

"No. My brother is," she replied.

"I thought that vistors weren't allowed," he replied.

"My brother is captain and my family our nobles. The Gotei 13 does not interfere with the lives of nobles," she explained.

The boy's brown eyes grew as large as the rising moon. He grabbed his sword and turn and ran away from her.

"Come back here!" she shouted "I wasn't finished."

She grumbled under her breath. Who does he think he is attacking a noble than running away like a scared like child? She wanted to fight up and show him a thing or two about attack random girls. He seemed like the type that needed their ass kicked for a changed.

"Kazu-chun!" said the eighth division Taichou, Shunsui.

"Hello Shunsui-san," waved Kazu.

"What happened here?" asked Shunsui "your spiritual pressure went off like bomb."

"Nothing really. Just some idiot looking for a fight," shrugged Kazu.

"You have your family worried sick. What are you doing out so late?" replied Shunsui watching the young girl closely trying to pick up any body language he could.

"Just lost track of time," said Kazu looking far off into the distance.

"I found her," said Shunsui to a hell butterfly. It fluttered into the night sky.

"You do realize he's just trying to help you," continued Shunsui.

"Help me by turning me into a mindless robot who has no independent thoughts and doesn't care about right and wrong. I think I'll pass," said Kazu.

"He just cares about you and doesn't want you to get yourself into trouble," said Shunsui his eyes drifting around the courtyard noticing scuff marks on couple walls and a bit of debris of the roofs.

"It's my choice what type of trouble I get into. He can't protect me from everything. How will I ever learn how to act for myself if everyone is hovering of me," retorted Kazu.

"I see your point, but you have to understand the world isn't black and white. Jūshirō doesn't hold his tongue on things just because he can, he does it because he has to do it for the family reputation. As the head of the clan he has to keep up appearances so that all of you can continue to live in the secure life of being a noble," explained Shunsui.

"I won't spend my life walking on eggshells. I love my family; I care about them. But why is it people who have any sort of power are so afraid to use to change things that aren't moral. It's a waste. Nobles wonder why the people in the Rukongai hate us so much," said Kazu "we do nothing as we let them die from hunger and diseases when we have the power to change it."

"You can't possible change the world alone."

"But I want to try," she mumbled looking down at her feet.

Without any notice she started to cry again. She kicked a pebble across the courtyard. What was it now? It's not like she had loss the mini-fight that had been going on.

"Don't so hard on yourself kid. Let the adults worry about issues of the world," Shunhie said patting her head.

That wasn't really that was bothering her. Was it? She had to be beauty and grace while strong and standing her ground. It was impossible. Disappointment. That was her problem. Her outburst wasn't nearly as disappointing to nii-chan than it was to herself.

"Let's go have some tea," said Shunhie.

"But I've already had four cups. I'll never sleep tonight," said Kazu.

"Come on now, don't you want to spend some time with me," he teased.

"Sure when it's not nighttime," said Kazu crossing her arms.

"Well, it really is too late for you to go home. I'm certain they have the manor all locked up for the night," said Shunhie.

Kazu groaned. She had been so occupied by some stupid kid she had lost a lot of time. She crossed her arms glowering into the distance. That little creep was going to pay.

"So where do I go?" she asked.

"Well you can come to Division 8 with me or you can go to Division 13 with your brother," offered Shunhie.

"I think I rather go to Division 8. I think I caused nii-chan enough trouble for one night," said Kazu looking down at her feet.

"Kiddo he loves you not matter what you say or do. He was a kid once too. He won't hold anything against you. Every kid wants to change the world," said Shunhie putting a hand on her head.

"Will you leave my hair alone?" whined Kazu "it takes me forever to get tangles out."

Shunhie scooped the girl up before she could protest. He dashed towards his Division. She let out a scream as he pretended to drop her in front of the barracks door. He went in the back way near his corridors. He smiled as he went to get some tea and came back to a sleep ten-year-old. He smiled at the young girl covering her up in a light blanket. He took his place on the couch.

* * *

 **AN:** I hope you guys don't mind the POV switch. If you hate it let me know and I will revise the chapter. The idea is to stick to third person with occasionally chapters in first person as suited for the chapter. Kazu is about the physical age of a ten-year-old so she's still fairly young, but old in mortal terms. You know strange aging is in the Soul Society.


	3. Not Quite

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything besides the few original works I include. **  
Claimer:** Please don't take any original works I may add into a story.

 **WARNING** : Mild swearing, minor suggestive scenes.

 _Suggested Age:_ 14, mature 1

" **Whole Heart"**

 **Chapter 3: "Not Quite"**

A never ending heat wave had descending on the Soul Society. Steam was radiating off of everything. Walking barefoot would be a very poor decision. There wasn't a whole lot going on in Soul Society. Everyone was staying indoors as much as possible. There was even a temporary emergency order for citizens to stay indoors as much as possible. It had never been so quite in the Soul Society as long as Kazu could remember. Almost as if it was dead.

Kazu bounced off of the door to the library. She rubbed her nose before pushing the door open. She couldn't see a few meters ahead of herself. She fumbled along the wall until she found a lantern. Rummaging blindly in the table drawers she found a box of matches and lit the lantern. She sat the lantern down so she could shut the door tightly before she weaved between the rows and rows of bookshelves until she found a small door. She grabbed the key from a necklace around her neck then crawled inside. She latched the door opening up the windows breathing in fresh air. No matter how sticky it was.

Pulling open a dusty cherry trunk. She coughed as she waved dust away. She pulled out a large package wrapped in semi-white silk. She unwrapped the package as she sat on a plush red cushion. A pile of books fell onto her lap. She picked up the largest leather bound book and opened flipped through pages until she found where she left off.

"Kazu! Kazu!" called a voice.

The girl squinted her eyes trying to figure out if someone was calling her. The sound was muffled by all the walls. So she wrapped the books quickly shoving them back into the trunk. She rushed over to window shutting it tightly. She popped her head out of the door.

"Who is it?!" she called.

"There are some people coming in a few hours you need to meet," announced a voice.

She groaned as she grabbed the lantern. So much for some reading time. The last thing she wanted to deal with was other nobles. They were so annoying. She hated talking about tea, politics and other boring things. She brushed off he kimono making sure there wasn't dust on it. She didn't want to hear about it from whichever sibling was waiting to torture her.

"Finally, you take forever. Are you seriously going to wear that? And what is up with your hair," fussed Tsheyka.

"This is a perfectly fine kimono and leave my hair alone," replied Kazu slowly and calmly.

"That kimono is an old thing that ought to be burned and your hair looks like two knots on top of your head," Tsheyka scolded.

"Oh leave her alone," sighed a younger man's voice.

"What do you know about the expectations of a girl Akira-san?" snarled Tsheyka.

"Get your head out of your ass and leave her alone. Go somewhere else with your anxieties on yourself. She doesn't need you harassing her," replied Akira with a placid smile.

Tsheyka huffed as she passed her older brother making sly remarks under her breath. Akira rolled his eyes. Kazu kept her mouth shut. She knew that this could easily turn around at her if she didn't watch herself.

"Don't just stand there like a deer in headlights. Get moving," scuffed Akira.

"Sorry, nii-san," said Kazu taking a deep breath.

"You have a voice, use it," said Akira.

Kazu nodded as she darted down the hallway. She went straight into the kitchen. There was a flurry of servants running around trying to organize a short notice meeting. There was a lot of food to be made in very little time.

"There you are!" greeted a woman.

She was a rather pump woman. She was in her early middle adulthood years. There were dark bags under her eyes, which were masked by layers of makeup. Her lips were formed in a permeant frown. Her long flowing black hair was perfectly arranged without a single strand out of place. Her kimonos varied from green to blue to oranges. Orange was not always her best color though. It made her skin look very yellow.

"Riyeko-san, nice to see you this morning," Kazu replied with a large smile.

"What in the king's name are you doing with that hair," scoffed another woman.

"Hoshimi-san, you mustn't use the king's name in such a manner," gasped Riyeko.

Hoshimi had a youthful round face with big hazel eyes. It made her look much younger than what she was. She was fairly thin with abnormally sized breast for her body. She had dark brown hair up in a tightly wound bun. The majority of her kimono's were different shades of blue.

"Who is visiting?" asked Kazu peering into a pot of tea.

"The Shiba clan. The head, his wife and his eldest son," said Riyeko.

"So what she is saying don't screw up," warned Hoshimi.

Riyeko huffed rolling her eyes at the other woman. Kazu kept investigating the food being made. This was nothing new.

"You have to sit properly, deny at gifts three times before accepting, don't smile, and for the love that is everything good don't eat like a boar," continued Hoshimi.

Kazu sighed as she continued to walk around. Did no one give her any credit? She knew the Shiba clan better than they obviously did. They didn't give a damn about any of that stuff. Knowing what she's seen of the girl that was far from what they'd want to see from her.

"Are you even listening to me?!" said Hoshimi putting her hands on her head.

"Nope," replied Kazu dropping the p.

"You-you- insolent little brat!" scowled Hoshimi.

"You know you should talk to yourself more because you sound ridiculous. If anything I have to act the exact opposite of the way you're telling me to act," said Kazu.

Fire ignited in Hoshimi's eyes. She clenched the side of the table glowering at the young girl. Riyeko's mouth fell open and her eyes turned in the size of the plates being stacked up to be set up at the table. The door to the kitchen swung open.

"Kazu-chan I need to borrow you," said a young man.

He had shoulder length silky black hair. His eyes a vibrant green full of curiosity. He smiled at the other two women as the blond haired girl walked by him. He waved as he closed the door.

"Kazu, it doesn't do you any good to be short with her," he sighed.

"But nii-san her head is always stuck in her ass. I can't stand her," grumbled Kazu.

"Shhh, don't say that so loud you're going to start a rumor feast," he said covering her mouth.

"Look I don't particular like her myself, but we're stuck with her. I'm not saying you need to be her puppet, but please try to keep the peace in the manor at least until this weather has passed," he replied.

"I'm so tired of always having to 'keep the peace'. People need to learn to say what's on their minds and stop playing these dumb mind games," huffed Kazu.

He sighed as they walked down the maze of hallways. He looked forward passively knowing it was pointless to argue. The only one of them that had to get their mother's feistiness it just had to be _her_. He didn't envy his sister's position in life. It was only natural to resist when every portion of your life was being controlled by others. Maybe that's why she was the only one that had that fire to her. Maybe it was because she needed it most.

"So why did you need me?" asked Kazu.

"I don't. I just thought it would be best if we went for a walk," he said with a slight grin.

The silence during their stroll was welcomed with open arms. As every second went by his green eyes became more stoic and hers gloomier. He took in a deep breath and sighed. She kept walking at a systematic pattern.

"Brooding doesn't suit you well," he said breaking the silence.

"Everyone always takes me for a fool. Like I don't know that this whole thing is about the arranged marriage. Or that I don't know a single thing about nobility. Or that I should just give up the wishful dream of ever being a Shinigami," said Kazu.

His eye widened for a second as he was caught in his own web of guilt. He looked down at his feet. The hurt her voice cut through her heart. She was the baby. She wasn't supposed to have to bear such burdens. Maybe they hadn't done as great as job raising her as they thought.

"Don't give me that look. I hate. I hate pity. I wanted to know. I don't like being in the dark. And I rather know and understand it then find out the hard way. All I wanted was for experiences and explanations. All I got was I was that I was 'too young' to understand or that I couldn't do that yet. But none of that matters. It's my choice," said Kazu.

"We just wanted to protect you," he interrupted.

"Protect me from what. From what I could never truly out run," said Kazu rolling her eyes.

"Look it's not easy having to raise your sibling. It's not easy for parents. Look at Mamoru and Hiroshi compared to Jūshirō," he replied.

"Well, I know you did your best. But you can only do so much. I have to do the rest. Why should I waste the spiritual energy I was given? That should be a bigger sin than anything else I could do. I was born the way I am for a reason. If I don't try to aim high, then what did mother die for to begin with. I may as well have never existed then," she said.

"That's not true…" he said.

"I'm done talking," she interrupted as they came across her door. She cut across him and darted into her room locking the door behind her.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath.

"Kazu please we can discuss this later," he pleaded.

"Leave me alone," she replied.

"We never meant to her you," he said.

"Everyone knows that I'll never be what you guys want so leave me alone," she snapped.

"Kazu…" he continued.

"Leave me alone Kanaye-san," she said.

"Don't make me get nii-san," he warned.

"I don't care," she grumbled.

"I'll be back," Kanaye said.

"And I won't be here," muttered Kazu under her breath.

As soon as the echo of her brother's footsteps disappeared she pushed open the shutters covering her window than slide the window open. She swung her legs over than jumped. Her room was pretty close to the ground, but the landing still made her ankles ache slightly. Now the real challenge began. She had to move along the wall of the compound and slowly ease behind the guards, just a tad out of there view to slip through the gate. A right turn would take her deeper in the city and a left turn would take her to a more rural area of the city. She turned left.

She sat under her favorite Ringo tree near a very slow flowing but deep part of the creek that ran through the city. She took off her sandals dipping her feet in the water. Her eyes fell slowly peering into the water. She sighed twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Coil, uncoil. Coil, uncoil.

Clack. Clack. Clack. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. The air around her pulsated. She slowly played with her sleeve on her kimono until she felt the hilt of a dagger touch the bottom of her palm.

"What is a pretty little thing like yourself doing out here alone?" sneered a young male voice. Kazu turned her head around to see a young man in early teens standing behind her. He had a sly grin and brown hair. Those brown eyes. Very familiar.

"What I'm doing is none of your business," said Kazu narrowing her eyes.

"I would think a young noble woman would speak with more respect," he mocked.

"If you know who I am why the hell are you talking to me?"

That's when she noticed the unforgettable white and blue uniform. A student at the academy. Just what she didn't need. A stuck up, jerk who thinks they know everything. No one knows everything. Not even nii-chan.

"Feisty…not a bad trait," he teased.

"I would like you to leave me alone," she said.

"Leaving a young lady like yourself alone would be a shame," he replied.

"Go away. I want to be alone," she replied with more force.

"I don't think I will," he retorted.

Kazu mumbled a few curse words under her breath as she got up. She turned around starring at the teenage boy. Those eyes. It was _him_. She let the dagger drop out of her sleeve. She twirled it around her fingers before holding it firmly in her palm.

"If you won't leave by choice I'll make you leave," she warned.

"My-my very violent aren't you," he said with a smile.

"Kutabare. You were annoying the first time we met. Now you're a nuisance," she snarled.

"Such big words for someone so defenseless. You wouldn't even be a challenge now," he said.

"Your head is so far up your ass you can problem see your brain from a distance," she replied.

"Quite a warugaki aren't you? Very different from the last time we met," he smiled.

"That's no way to talk to a girl!" interrupted a new young male voice.

"It looks we have an intruder," shrugged the teenage boy.

That's when she set her target. She swung her leg around aiming for the rib cage. He blocked the kick. She bounced back on her feet making a go with her dagger. Swipe. Miss. Swipe. Miss. Swipe…The feeling of a blade cutting flesh was very odd, but also addicting.

"No need to attack me," said the teenage boy crabbing his shoulder.

"Then you shouldn't harass random girls than. She told you to leave her alone," shrugged the other boy.

"And you are?" asked the teenage boy looking at the younger boy like he was nothing but a pebble in the dirt.

"Shiba, Kaien," announced the younger boy.

"Well Shiba-kun I don't know why you are bothering us but we were having a wonderful conversation before your interrupted.

Fire lit up in the boy's eyes. Kazu side stepped getting in the way. The last thing she wanted to deal with his hearing about how she allowed their guest to get involved with a fight with a random cadet from the academy. Nope, that would not be worth the satisfaction of this annoying jerk getting his ass kicked.

"Damare! Nanda yo omae-wa? How dare you talk like that to him!" she roared.

Where was this coming from? She didn't even know she could yell like that. She swore if he didn't walk away she was going to slice him again and this time she would get him on the first swing.

"What is all this ruckus now?" said a very familiar voice.

"Kyōraku-san!" said Kazu quickly withdrawing her dagger.

"Well Sōsuke-kun I think you should find your way back to the academy," said Shunsui.

"Yes sir," replied the teenager.

After the teenager disappeared Shunsui turned his eyes on the two young kids. He didn't sigh, roll his eyes or look at them disappointed. If anything he was proud. He patted the top of Kazu's hair making her flatten it out again.

"Why do you keep interrupting me every time I get a chance to fight him?" pouted Kazu.

"You did get to get in a few attacks in this time," shrugged Shunsui. So young. Innocent, pure. He just couldn't let her fight that boy for real. Because if he did she knew she wouldn't be able to stop once she started. She didn't have that self-control yet.

Kazu mumbled to herself. Kaien looked at the young girl and back to the older man a few times. He knew that the older man was a captain, but how did he know some random girl, likely a noble girl.

"Does your nii-san know you carrying around a dagger in your sleeve?" questioned Shunsui.

"No. They won't let me carry a sword, but then I find people like him. It's dangerous not to have something. Please don't tell him," pleaded Kazu.

"I wasn't planning on it. You shouldn't hide things from him though. He's more understanding than most heads. They only want to protect you…" said Shunsui.

"But what if their overzealous need to protect me gets me hurt because I didn't have anything to defend myself with," stated Kazu.

"Very good point. I'm glad you were able to see a weakness and find a solution to it. Your very handy with that dagger despite it not being the best suited weapon for you," replied Shunsui.

"I don't really like it. I don't like being that close to someone to attack. I don't have the strength to fight at that distance if they have a weapon that can be used in close range too," admitted Kazu.

Shunsui nodded at her with a soft smile. She was growing up so fast and still not a whole lot different. It still amazed him how much spirit she has in her compared to the rest of her family. Akira had spunk but he was also a young man with lots of testosterone flowing. Mamoru and Hiroshi are just ill tempered. And he wasn't going to let her grow up to be like them.

"Why are you out here in the first place?" asked Shunsui pulling himself back into the reason he even walked this direction.

"I just needed some air," shrugged Kazu.

"That's not what I heard from the grapevine," said Shunsui "or would it be a Hell Butterfly vine?"

"I have the right to be unhappy if I want to be," said Kazu crossing her arms "why use an American idiom?"

"Your fine, just as cheeky as always. You better get on home," said Shunsui trying not to grin.

"Fine," huffed Kazu storming off around the corner.

"Are you coming or not?!" she called back.

"Why would I come with you to your house?" asked Kaien rubbing his neck.

"Because dummy your supposed to be one of our guests today," she said rolling her eyes.

"Wait, that mean's your Kazu?!" gaped Kaien.

"The one and only one in the Ukitake clan," said Kazue pointing her thumb at herself.

"Are you going to stand there and gape all day or you coming with me?" asked Kazue putting a hand on her hip.

"You complain about he talks to me then you talk to me like this," said Kaien.

"Quit whining. Either you can come with me or else I tell them you ran off," grinned Kazu.

"Would not!" said Kaien.

"You better not bet on that because you'd lose," said Kazu starting to inch forward.

"Fine! I'm coming!" he called.

Kazue smiled as she skipped on ahead. He actually fell for that. She wasn't really going to tell them. She wasn't a tattletale. She disliked this whole tea meeting just as much as he probably did if not more.

"You're really annoying," Kaien huffed.

"So…" shrugged Kazu.

"First you try to act like some hero then you don't even thank me for helping and then you talked to me like just a random person," said Kaien whining slightly.

"If that's how you see me more power to you. I could talk properly to you but that would be an insult to your intelligence and integrity. If you don't like me the way I'm naturally am there is no point to us talking," said Kazu.

Kaien stopped and looked at the younger girl. He heard a lot of different things from many girls his family had forced him to meet. This was different. This wasn't someone talking to him formally because they had to. She was choosing to speak differently towards him out of respect? No that wasn't the complete truth. No it was out of respect for herself.

"Are you going to keep staring at me?" she huffed "you're really starting to act like a sukebe."

"I am not!" Kaien retorted.

"Shhh! You're going to make the guards get the wrong idea," scuffed Kazu.

"Why does that matter?" mutter Kaien to himself.

"Kazu-san, what are doing out here?!" said one of the guards his eyes becoming very large looking at the other guard who looked just as shocked.

"We just went for a walk. You must have missed us. It's been a very busy day," said Kazu with a soft smile.

"Right Kazu-san and Shiba-sama," said the other guard opening up the gate.

Kazu didn't say much of anything as they walked along the winding pathways. It could have been a lot more difficult getting back in. At least this time they didn't call any of her siblings to confirm this time.

"Why did you lie to them?" asked Kaien.

"They are nosy. Technically I'm not supposed to be off the compound. 'Heat makes people do strange things'. Bakabakashii," said Kazu shaking her head.

"Then why were you?" asked Kaien.

"You know you ask a lot of questions. I get tired of having some many siblings," said Kazu narrowing her eyes.

"Honest question," said Kaien holding up his hands defensively.

"Whatever," she huffed.

The young boy would never admit he was bracing for her to punch him. That is what his sister did every time she looked at him like that. Maybe that's why he's never really liked any girls at these tea parties. He kept expecting them to turn on him suddenly and hit him. It was all Kūkaku's fault. Yup that was it.

"There you two are!" greeted a short older woman with long greying hair.

"Sorry about being late," said Kaien "we were just taking a walk."

"Never mind that. I'm just glad you are here," she said.

"My mother," whispered Kaien. Kazu nodded.

"Aren't you cute as button. You look like a miniature version of your mother with blond hair of course. I wonder where that came from," said Kaien's mother playing with Kazu's hair making it curl tightly.

It didn't take any time at all for them to be ushered into the room. Kazu quickly tried to flatten out her hair before taking a seat near her brother. She fidgeted with her sleeve of her kimono. It wasn't that she was nervous. It was definitely because she was nervous but she would never admit that. She had never had a meeting like this before.

"I was quite surprised to hear you haven't had any other tea parties before," said a tall male with spiky black hair.

"I decided that it wasn't really necessary being that we are such a large family to arrange anything for her. I still wouldn't be doing it if the elders weren't insisting," said Jūshirō.

"I see," said the other man "we have not arranged anything for our daughter either she's probably a bit older than Kazu."

"I wish I could wait longer myself, but with my health the elders think it is better for me to arrange a marriage than one of my younger brothers," said Jūshirō.

Kazu couldn't stop the snort from coming out. That would be a nightmare. She thought about Tsheyka marriage. Tsheyka was barely in her early twenties and she was married to creepy old guy, maybe he isn't that old but he had to be twice her age. She didn't want that. Not at all. Her cheeks turned bright red as everyone looked at her. She wanted to shrink down and disappear under the table.

"As Kazu pointed out that is laudable idea," said Jūshirō.

Kazu let out a deep breath. Once again her nii-chan saved her from her inability to control herself. Maybe her siblings were right. Maybe she did lack self-control. She frowned looking down at the cloth on the table.

"So why accept our request for a meeting out of all the choices?" asked Kaien's mother.

"I had multiple requests from your clan so I thought there was a higher need to make a meeting," concluded Jūshirō.

It was very strange talking about marriage. Kazu couldn't even imaging marrying someone right now. Boys were gross and annoying. She was just going along with whatever nii-chan said. She trusted him more than anything else she held dear to her.

"We have had some trouble. There aren't many higher noble daughters and those that are really suited for the Shiba clan. We saw an opportunity with your status with the Shinigami for marriage into a lower noble family be acceptable," replied the dark haired man.

Jūshirō nodded. He kept watching Kazu trying to get some sort of feedback off her. But she was cover her tracks even keeping her reiatsu calm. It could be nerves or she was just thinking about something.

"We do have a population problem," said Jūshirō.

"So what do you like to do?" asked the other man nodding towards Kazu.

She swallowed the huge lump in her through. _I like to run off into the city ignoring rules._ That wouldn't fly. What should she do? Admit the truth or mask it?

"I like to be outside and reading," offered Kazu barely able to find her voice.

"This heat must be very annoying for you," chuckled the man. Kazu just nodded.

The food arrived momently stopping any more conversation. Everything much smaller that usually. All the portion sizes were adjusted to not only safe food, but also make it appear more elegant. The only problem was that everyone was having problems with the food slipping between the chopsticks. Everyone accept Kaien kept their cool about the eating struggles. Kaien gave up on taking a small bite before losing his foot and had decided to go with stabbing his food to eat it. His mother gave him an appalled glance which he returns with a wide grin. His father rolled his eyes keeping to his meal.

"This is a little problematic," said Jūshirō with a soft smile.

"True, but at least it's cooked and not still moving," said Kaien's father. Kaien's mother turned tomato red heat raising her cheeks making her rub them briefly as it stung before regaining her composure to glare at her husband.

"I think it's time for you two to go off on your own for a bit while we talked," decided Kaien's father after finishing his meal.

The two preteens didn't waste any time getting out of the room before they were asked to stay again. Jūshirō smiled as he got up to close the door behind them and to make sure they weren't going to try to listen in from the hallway.

"What do we do now?" asked Kaien.

"Explore," offered Kazu.

"I guess that will do," said Kaien.

Kazu pulled Kaien behind her through the weaving hallways before finding a small tiny door and crawling through it to get Kaien to fallow her. He had more trouble fitting through the doorway than she did. It seemed to get tight and tighter. He started to wonder if he was going to get stuck in this tunnel. Splat! A sudden drop off in the tunnel made him freefall and fell face first on a dirt path.

"You're not good at reaction time," giggled Kazu.

"Oh shut up," said Kaien brushing himself off. Kazu stuck out her lounge at Kaien and scrunched up her face trying to make it like a pug's face, unsuccessfully of course.

"What is this?" he asked.

"A system of tunnels. It can take you to anywhere in the Seireitei and beyond," said Kazu "it connects every noble mansion to each other. I don't think anyone uses it anymore."

"This is really cool. But what if you end up in someone's living room?" asked Kaien.

"It goes under the house not through it. Hence why it's a tunnel not a hallway," said Kazu rolling her eyes.

"How did you find it?" asked Kaien.

"Again with the questions. I found another room with a small door like that so I decided this might lead to another room like the one I already found. But it didn't obviously," she replied "how long do those conversations take?"

"An hour or two," estimated Kaien.

"Then we have plenty of time!" smiled Kazu.

* * *

AN:

Thanks for reading. Sorry it took longer than I expected. I was trying to fit a lot into this chapter. Also I included some Japanese words but I would love some feedback on this element. Like if it interrupted flow or takes away from the story in anyway or if it helps the story in way too. I'm going to include the different words and what they are bellow. The concept of arranged marriages were common all over and after all the Soul Society is based on Feudal Japan so it was fairly common I just made some adjustments to make it more sensible in the Soul Society political system. My take on arranged marriages in Japan is inspired by omiai and my understanding of Rurichiyo's engagement in the filler arc. I know this isn't completely true to what arranged marriage was in Feudal Japan so bear with me on that. Basically my difference is that Kazu wouldn't be marrying until she was twenty-two, the coming of age in Japan. These type of arrangements are usually symbolic and could be annulled if A) the other partner dies B) Serious illness falls on the partner C) or whatever excuse a family could make up, but it would be considered very rude to do the latter and could cause damage to the family reputation.

In this chapter Kazu is about ten and Kaien would be about twelve physically. Aizen would be around fourteen. For anyone wondering why Aizen isn't being as secretive he was quite a bit younger at the time of this chapter and wasn't planning anything at this point, but I am trying to show how he despised the way the Soul Society. I'm trying to show his progression to what he was. There had to be more to his story, which may end up showing up in this story.

Sorry that was so long but I had a lot to clarify that may not get explained in the story itself. Also next chapter I will be listing the whole Ukitake family for you guys.

Sukebe- pervert

Damare- Shut up

Nanda yo omae-wa- Who do you think you are?!

Warugaki- brat

Bakabakashii- Idiotic

 _ **UPDATED: Sorry wrong version before.**_


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